Thursday, May 6, 2010

Still Reading on the Beach....

I'm not really a beach girl, but this is sooo nice.  A stack of magazines and a lounge chair, I didn't know it could be so fabulous!  I've moved on to O, The Oprah Magazine, and of course I'm having a moment. Thank God for the big sunglasses, I can be a little teary in private.


After reading this passage (by Melissa Pritchard page190) I had to take a break, and pull out my ipod.

I was a professor at a large university, a published novelist, a successful, self-sufficient woman.  But waking up every morning to a large empty house was a new unexpected shriving.  I felt as if my skeleton were gone, as if I had be filleted, deboned. 

I felt that way, right after my father died, and to some extent.... still, filleted and deboned. This was the first time (at 38 years old) that I had ever been anywhere without telling someone what the number of the flight, the Hotel name, the ETAs..... and it was sort of strange.  I fought and rebelled against his constant where are you going, how long are you going to be there, what's the flight number, who's going to be with you, be careful, is your phone charged, how much are they paying you, ask for what you want, did you ask, how much money do you need for that, do you have enough money, do you have your tickets kind of questions.  LOL He can go on forever.  What was the big deal?  I should have just let him ask his questions, because now I know that what I took to be controlling was just ... love, and wanting to share my life.... and maybe a little controlling too, so what.  So the reason I pulled out my Ipod was to listen to this song, Let Me by Sergio Mendes. The lyrics sum up exactly the feelings that I didn't have the vocabulary to voice, until all of those things melded together, the Oprah article, feeling filleted, and being on a trip without giving anyone a written itinerary. Next time your Mom or Dad, is going on about what, where, why, and who, .... Let them.

You didn't expect that did you? I didn't either. These post are usually filled with accessories and giveaways and fabulousness (smiling sheepishly and shrugging one shoulder).

2 comments:

  1. aw it is so difficult to deal with loss... stay strong! it says the video has been removed but im going to download the song on my computer. have a great vacation your pictures on facebook look like paradise! just smile and enjoy :) x0x0

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  2. Thanks Valerie, I added a link instead.

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